Klusacism

Klusacism is a popular religion amongst a select group of students at Ballston Spa High School. It was founded in 2009, based on the idea that Greg Klusacek is the one true God.

Early Days
The religion was founded by Jacob McAuliffe and several of his friends in approximetley 2009 AD. Its origins, or what has been claimed to have started the trend, lied in Mrs. Henderson's Honors Biology class, where Greg left two Clipart Effigies on Jacob McAuliffe's desk, symbolizing Greg was a god (although some sects today debate this). Two other students, Eric Newton and Tom Havens, soon converted and began developing the Klusacist way of thinking with Jacob. These three minds, all very different in thinking, would eventually cause the religion's downfall. But at the time, the boys used the facebook group as a medium, and posted a set of rules for Klusacism.

2b) It's OK to eat cold beef if you add mustard
And those were the only rules. But daily the church members would spend long hours observing Greg (especially during lunch), hoping to derive more of his natural laws. It was during these observation/meal periods that Greg was said to have performed his greatest miracles, which were often promoted by the Klusacists as proof of Greg's divinity.

Miracle #1: One day, Greg ate an entire meatball sub while wearing a white shirt. Not a single spec of tomato sauce appeared on that shirt afterwards, a feat no mortal man could accomplish.
===Miracle #2: One day, a terrible boredom had fallen upon the men of the lunch table. To alleviate his faithful children, Greg melted a pencil with nothing more than his almighty hands, leaving all of them in an excited awe.===

Early on, Klusacism had to fight to attract members, when other more popular high school religions such as Gerardism and Travisism made themselves known. At one point, the Church of Klusacism, under the rule of Jacob, irrationally waged war on the Church of Gerardism due to their intelligent and rational remarks made about the religion; however, Jake's complaints were quickly shot down by the representatives of Gerardism, and those followers of Gerard were kind enough to not completely destroy the fledging religion. Soon, however, it became apparent that Klusacism would need to expand it's influence, or else risk losing the few members they had to begin with.This desperate time called upon the founders to make drastic decisions in the Klusacist way of life, and may have in fact been the main factor causing the schism.

Schism
The idol himself, Greg, slowly became more and more uncomfortable with his status as a deity over time. While he never denied that he was God, he made it very clear that he did not like being known as such. Recognizing this fact, Tom began making nominal efforts to try to reform the doctrine of the established church.

One day, around this same time, Jake made a "joke" about being the true leader of Klusacism, being more powerful then Greg and such. Jacob's extreme ideals and radical behavior seem to fit his overtly authoritative mindset, and few doubt that such plans were made. While he maintains that his remarks were merely a joke, his actions before and after this created much concern among the members of the church, especially Eric and Tom.

The pair both came to recognize Jake as a major threat to the sanctity of the church, and decided it was there duty to try to remove him as its head. After hours of debate and discussion, Tom eventually convinced Eric to agree with his plan to gradually remove Jake from power by slowly erroding away the respect other churchmembers held for him. However, Eric agreed only grudgingly and had always been in favor of more radical action.

Going behind Tom's back, Eric used his position as an administrator in the facebook group to ban all members, and also send them his list of grievances against Jacob. This effectively destroyed Klusacism. Jake attempted to form a new church, based solely on his ideals, but it failed to become nearly as popular as the original group. Klusacist Mike Mahoney attempted to make a church for former, disillusioned members, but this fell apart after a couple of weeks. Eric's martyrdom had, in his mind, returned the balance to the universe. Jake still holds that it is Eric who is the villain, as Eric's response was a complete overreaction to something that within its nature was falsehood.

Although Jacob McAuliffe has considered his actions foolhardy, Eric remains convinced that what he did was necessary and lists the following reasons.

1) Jake had declared himself the sole voice of Klusacism, claiming that his voice was even more important than Greg's.

2) He planned on recruiting southern members, and turning Klusacism into a profitable mega-church.

3) He regularly showed his disdain for reggae, which is a great love of Greg's.

4) The fear campaign that he spread throughout the church.

And thus, the Great Schism was upon us.

Klusacism Post-Schism
Today there are very few Klusacists left. The three founders seem to be the only ones who remain overtly adamant and faithful.

Tom has founded a sect known as Secular Klusacism. He believes that Greg didn't want the people to know of his divinity, and it is therefore better to not pay homage to him or any other deity, but to just know in your heart that the Almighty Greg loves and cares for you. Secular Klusacists are encouraged to simply live their lives to the best of thier ability, whilst attempting to spread peace and love as much as possible.

Eric is a non-denominational Klusacist, which is a more traditional approach to the religion. It involves recognizing Greg as the omnipotent being that he is, while also leaving him in peace.

Jacob still belongs to the original Church of Klusacism, now informally known as McAuliffism, and is possibly the last remaining member. It is now fully shaped in his ideology, without the approval of Greg Himself.

After months of little activity among the churches, original founder Jacob recently (Summer 2011) suggested possibly crucifying Greg and consuming his body in order to "end Klusacism on a high note" (as the three heads of the seperate sects are all graduating this year). This suggestion has been a hot source of debate, partially out of fear that crucifying Greg would accidentally bring on the apocalypse in that Greg would turn into a giant evil half devoured abomination hellbent on destroying all humans. This never occured, and as of Winter 2011, the church has seen little activity.